How to Know When a Man Loves You

For as long as I can remember I’ve been known as Uncle Ralph, but a few years ago I also became known as “The Dear Abby" for Trailer Trash. Mind you, this is a moniker I wear proudly. I have long embraced my roots as genuine Trailer Trash and freely admit it but my ranking position as the “Dear Abby for Trailer Trash" came further down the line in my career as people began sending me emails asking questions on how to deal with their own every day lives.

With questions such as “Where should I tattoo my chicks name on my body?" and “If I’m too drunk to pick up chicks at my cousins wedding will one be supplied me?" I quickly became famous for dishing out real down-home advice. Nothing was too hard or even too trivial when it came to assisting my nephews and nieces in this great big trailer park some people call “The World".

But some letters truly did stump me. They all seems to wobble drunkenly around the topic of “How can I tell if a man really loves me?" Well… I’ve no idea. Being a “Man’s Man" myself, give me enough PBR and I can love anybody. (Now before some of you start sending me your nudie pictures, even with too much beer I still limit myself to chicks so, please, put your keyboard back down.) But the question always seemed to haunt me as letters from all over the world flooded in asking the same general question so I took a stab at it.

You know a man really loves you when he:
Gives you a beer can wind chime.
Tattoos your name over his last girlfriends, name.
He gives you a six-pack of PBR.
He can rip loud farts in front of you without out feeling the need to apologize.

These were just what I came up with. Granted, I’ve already admitted I have no clue but being the “Dear Abby for Trailer Trash" I am expected to know.

Once I put these tips on-line, more and more chicks began to write in with more.
He calls you while on a date with someone else.
He asks you exclusively for lap dances.
When he lets you sit next to him in his truck instead of his dogs.

Now please bear in mind, I work very hard to keep my website at PG-13 level (because my lovely wife of 25 years would beat me denture-less) so I couldn’t put all of the great tips on-line. But the best tip I ever got, one that will stick with me for the rest of my nearly sober life is:
“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like ointment."

More on how to know if a Man Loves you can be read at http://www.askuncleralph.com/Life/how_to_know_if_a_man_really_loves_you.htm

Copyright www.AskUncleRalph.com Webmasters have permission to reprint as long as all links remain live.

Uncle Ralph lives quietly in his trailer in Michigan watching NASCAR, drinking cheap beer and helping out his fellow man. His website can be seen at www.AskUncleRaph.com

Copyright www.AskUncleRalph.com Webmasters have permission to reprint as long as all links remain live.